3 things that Suck & Rock about kerela!!

Its been a long time that i have expressed my thoughts digitally! I am so ill-reputed for my Hyper Local Patriotism, So i thought probably i would express somethin objective about the subject which i preach the most! Kerala'ism!!

3 Things that SUCK!!** about kerela

** All the things stated are based on my perceptive individual opinion. Most of the points have been shadowed by my extreme prejudiced view on society :)

The Chicks : See first of all this is just a perceptive opinion. I am not sayin that they are not good looking or not fun to be with and stuff!! But somewhere I find Mal Chicks Kinda Boring!! I find their flirting as boring as readin my CA roommate Mathai ka Book on Commercial Auditing! may be its cuz they are too loud or egoistic or nagging or materialistic or.... I dunno , If you ask i cant pinpoint and show you a reason! but somewhere somthin makes them Boring by default!!

The Hypocrisy: I don't understand why such an intelligent and enlightened society should have this much amount of underlying hypocrisy. Parents don't talk sex, Girls wont accept that they have been kissed, Guys don't admit that they drink,

And whenever you ask any and i mean any couple! even when you find them making out inside SRIDHAR theatre! they have only one reply "We are just friends" (I never understood this friend shit!!!)



Sasi Tharoor : Author, peace-keeper, refugee worker, human rights activist, eleven books and newspaper columns, United Nations Under-Secretary-General and now a Minister...... All Well and fine. But Man isn't this guy so GAY!!!!
He reported to have moved out of the MLA Hostel saying that he dint have privacy there!! Man aren't you ruining the whole MAL thing here man! !
We invented the concept of sharing Underwears! You go to any hostel ! i mean any mens hostel , if u spot a guy who's walking around naked 99% that will be one of us a Mal!

We have been known, Loved and Respected among other ethnic groups for our Sense of sociableness & Non-Privacy! Here our KWAN! the love the respect and harmony that we and our Forefathers have built around all these years are being put to a toss!!

So Bottom Line is Sasi Tharoor! Nice suvave Guy! Educated and should be in the driving seat of a sinking economy!! But please don't relate him anywhere to Us & our KWAN!!


Now Lets talk about the

3 Things that Rock!!**

** I can go on an on and on and can put 3000 things in this list! But lets just prioritize!


The Kwan: This is the single Most important thing!! I have actually borrowed this word from the movie "Jerry Maguire"!

As per my Definition of Kwan is a Brotherhood Web of love, respect, community, Harmony, Chivalry , Brotherhood, Sacrifice, Reputation, Devotion, Vendetta, Protection, Money, Power, Supremacy, Honor in which Mal Guys operate on!! (Especially outside Kerela)

Just to give a brief example of KWAN!!

I can Go land at most of the Metro's at any point of time & stay free at my friends place, Friend's Friends place or Friend's Brother's Neighbor's Ex-collage Roomate's friends place! The only condition being that both the parties Are Mal's!


This is the KWAN I am talking about! 99% of the bachelor places i visited during my Bangalore & Chennai Days, I have seen atleast two Mal guys staying with them who are job hunting and living without any revenue earning model! they are just being supported by the KWAN!!!

PS: I had been to Bangalore on an election counting day and Managed to get myself and 2 of my friends Drunk till night 12'o clock on a complete dry day.
Its the secret of the KWAN!!


The Commies!: I think they (Actually We) are pretty coool.

leave alone the economic policies, The fall of USSR, The Cynic view on society and stuff! M talkin about the romantic aspect of the whole thing!!

The whole concept that children from their school ages are taught that there is somethin that is more important than sucess, Money and Career. and that Materialism is not the most important thing in life!! Most people outside kerela wont agree! But i think its cool! dunno Why but still! :)

The Spa Effect : God's own country thats the Kerela tourism board ka caption! But i think it should more be like "Not a State , But a SPA in disguise"

Where else in the world can you get drunk till 3 am in the morning ! (Rum On the Rocks) and get up next day without even a hint of a hangover!!

I Dunno what exactly powers this spa effect, may be its the humidity, the climate, the trees, the f0od or my best guess : "Coconut"

Yes m talking about coconut Thengga!. An ideal sunday starts by Vellayappam and Mutton stew! both containing Extensive amount of Coconut milk!! followed by a BRUNCH time Coconut Toddy accompanied by fish or beef fried only and only in coconut oil. And when it comes to lunch except the rice! everythin else is flavored by coconut!!

Evenings are time for a more serious alchoholic consumption and my favourite is Vodka plus tender coconut water! so Most of the above mentioned activities are actually speaking
Excuses to consume coconut in some form or the another!!